I was on your porch...

The smoke sank into my skin
so i came inside to be with you
and we talked all night,
about everything we could imagine
cause come the morning i'll be gone

Its funny, the way people entangle themselves into your life.
Think of flies. They fly around, harmless, with their split vision and different view of the world, buzzing annoyingly at times, so bad youre tempted to get a swatter. They just bumble around and somehow end up in your web. With six legs they touch so many strings. And if youre a big fat gullible spider, youll wind them up tight, and put everything into binding them to your web. An insatiable desire for this little bug that flew in on a warm breeze, will make you eat em up. Theres no getting around it, time will starve you, loneliness will motivate you, and theyre such good little listeners. But then, after your indulgence, you just have an awkward shaped hole in your net. And if you don't go all Charlotte and spin another, all the other flies might just fly on through.

I met with an old friend for the first time in a long time. I already ate him up. Drained so many lessons out of him, wrote a college essay that got me into Bard. I walked up the street Ive spent so much time on, and saw him sitting there, waiting for me at the same cafe we had our first date. (We played scrabble, he wrote suds. i still dont know how it happened). His ears were all sewn up, I was still barely taller than him (he might be the reason i slouch), and everything... was different. Time pulled a fast one on me. With all his shit together, we could enjoy each others company, having purged the self-perpetuating disaster of "us" What Im getting at, is its a wonder how anyone ever moves on.

But if you dont, it would all end. We cant live in tangles.

There are very few people that I cant quite swallow. They keep coming back up. Theyre probably the ones you can learn most from. Theyre always the one that hurt. You cant ever chew it over and just end up choking and coughing and gasping for stable air. Because lets face it, that just happens.
And when it does you have to wait for everything to be put into place. Dont ask me who does it, but it has to be done.

but now it's time to get out of the desert and into the sun
even if it's alone